When I was a little girl, I wanted to reach the top of our toy shelf in the basement. No one was downstairs to help me and I was too impatient to wait for a response. I took it upon myself to stand on top of the back rest portion of a desk chair and stretch to reach what I wanted. In just an instant, the chair flipped, I landed on it, and found myself crying for my mom’s help as I bled. There began my fear of falling.

In 2017, we took the kids to Disney World over spring break. We had fast passes for a ride named “Expedition Everest.” As we walked around waiting for our arrival time to come, I decided it would help me to read about the roller coaster so I’d know what to expect. Mistake. BIG mistake.

I read something like “the tower was taken off the top of the coaster because of its interference with the airspace” and “the track appears to be broken in mid-air before you shift to another track to go backwards.” Cue the anxiety. Sweaty palms. Hurting stomach. I needed a way out. However, I sincerely tried not to pass my fear of falling (which most people love in relation to roller coasters) on to the kids. Our daughter, who was 10 at the time, said there was only ONE WAY she would ride the roller coaster…..if I was sitting right beside her. I rode it. I screamed. It was a great coaster and I have ridden it again. The interesting thing is that I would have never, ever ridden that had it not been for her. The courage of a ten year-old was necessary to help her mama conquer a lifelong fear.

Friend, you CAN do hard things. Often times, you will ONLY do them with the support and presence of another.

This past Saturday, I participated in a half-marathon. About 8 years ago, this was a bucket-list item. After some setbacks and some health issues, I “surrendered” that item and settled for 5ks. Until November of 2022.

I was getting ready for work one morning when I got a call from a school principal. One of their faculty members – a former co-worker of mine – unexpectedly and tragically passed away the night before. Jennifer was less than a year older than me. It hit hard. At her celebration of life service, the slideshow remembering her life had picture after picture of her running, of her crossing finish lines with her sisters. Her life and one of her passions – that I don’t even know about until she was gone – inspired me to sign up. Had she been here, Jennifer probably would have run the half-marathon. Since she couldn’t be here, I wanted to run it for her. Shortly after the service, I submitted my registration. #JoggingForJennifer

We had a lot of cold and wet weather here. I made a lot of excuses. I didn’t train enough. But I made a commitment to do this for my friend and I had the bonus blessing of having another friend sign up to run with me. The one difference? Gwen IS a runner. She has slayed several half-marathons this year alone. I told her she could run ahead and wait on me at the finish line. Her response? “Absolutely not. We will do this TOGETHER.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

My lack of training could have easily kept me at home. Getting in my own head about my speed could have sidelined me.

However, Jennifer inspired me to start and Gwen said she’d be by my side the whole time through the finish. These friends helped me accomplish something very hard, but something that was much less hard because I wasn’t alone.

Jennifer, thank you for being such a kind-hearted person who never let anyone go unnoticed. Thank you for never losing your zeal for teaching science to high school students. Thank you for loving your family like you did. There are so many people who are looking forward to Heaven to be able to see you again.

Gwen, thank you for helping me accomplish something I had tucked away several years ago. Your presence and your encouragement helped me cross that finish line. Thank you for slowing your pace to include a lot of walking….just to help me finish.

Friend, you can do hard things.

Invite someone into the story. and be the inspiration for someone else’s.

We are truly #BetterTogether.

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Today, our youngest child turned 17. At her birthday breakfast, she opened the card given to her by her brother (but not before he popped her in the head with it!!). When she opened up the card, some critters popped out from the middle with 3D words declaring, “I’M TELLING! I’M TELLING!” We chuckled about the card selection and our son said he selected it because those were his sister’s favorite words early in life. Maybe it actually was telling the truth. Maybe it was actually tattling. Maybe…..just maybe….it was blaming.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary,, blame means “to place responsibility for.” There is no doubt that everyone reading this blog has been blamed for something that WASN’T your responsibility. It’s also a certainty that everyone reading this blog has blamed someone else for something that WAS your responsibility. Blame was actually one of the first relational issues we read about in the book of Genesis.

In Genesis 2, there was God, there was the Garden, and there was Adam. There was purity. There was open communication and unhindered relationship. The Lord had a little conversation with Adam about all the Garden had to offer…..but gave him a clear directive that there was one tree (only ONE!) that he was not given freedom to eat of its fruit. No one else was there – the conversation was had with Adam alone. Realizing that he needed companionship, the Lord made Adam fall asleep and from him created Eve. All was good. Still open communication and unhindered relationship. Genesis 2:25 even says they were “naked and unashamed.” What an amazing place to be – ain’t no shame in their game! Yet.

We move on to Genesis 3 and the drama begins. We do not see in Scripture that the Lord speaks directly to Eve about the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, so we have to assume (dangerous, I know) that the information she received was through Adam. The serpent approaches her when she’s alone (he does his best work in isolation – stay connected!) and questions what God really said. It all goes downhill from here. She adds a little bit to the Truth, she gets enamored by what she sees, and she eats “the forbidden fruit.” Being generous, she even gave some to her husband!

Innocence is now gone.

Shame has now arrived.

And blame makes its way into the game.

Adam blamed “the woman You gave to me.” Eve blamed the serpent. And the rest of the story – including yours and mine – changed forever (I do understand that it was the eating from the tree that led to their removal from the Garden). Definitely doesn’t seem like the blame game was successful then – and it certainly isn’t successful now. So, what do we do?

One word can shatter the bondage of blame: OWNERSHIP. Merriam-Webster defines OWN as “to acknowledge to be true, valid, or as claimed : admit.” Can you imagine rewriting chapter 3 of Genesis from this perspective? The fruit had been eaten and the Lord inquired of Adam as to why they were hiding. What if his response – instead of blame – had been “I’m so sorry I left Eve alone. I didn’t protect her. I didn’t communicate well.” And what if Eve answered, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t listen well enough to understand what this meant. I followed the leading of my eyes and went for what I wanted instead of what You wanted.”

Dang!!! Ownership is powerful. Blaming is weak. But blaming is easier…..it requires less of us….and that is why it is so easy to do. To borrow the words of novelist Sarah Dessen, “Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that’s what makes you strong.”

In a world that appears to become more and more fractured every day – our “game” plan has got to change. We will never win when our strategy is the blame “game.” We will continue to walk in the ruts of irresponsibility as long as that is our mode of operation. Think back one last time to Genesis 3. Could the entire narrative of humanity been different had shame not introduced us to blame?

Last week, I attended a work conference in San Diego. While the weather SHOULD have been enjoyable from all the reports I’d been given, it was far from such. It was windy. It was rainy. It was chilly. All until the day I left to fly home.

When I left San Diego to begin the trek home, the weather outside of my room was calm. Quiet. Peaceful. Enjoyable. All of the things I THOUGHT it was going to be during my quick trip there that restricted me to (1) the conference center and (2) my room at the resort.

Once I arrived at the airport, I was greeted with a message from my airline that my flight to Denver had been delayed for about an hour. It wasn’t because of lack of staff or anything that has made airlines the talk of the town in the past few months. It was because of a big winter storm. Travel conditions were not safe and everything in Denver was taking longer due to the heavy snow, ice, wind and 20 degree temperatures. I grabbed a hot caramel latte and sat down with my book.

After some reading in the airport and on the plane, we landed in Denver. The first text I received when I went off of airplane mode was that my connecting flight had been cancelled. Already scheduled for a three-hour layover, I would now be hanging out for an extra two-and-a-half hours and adding touchdowns in two additional states before making it back to my home state. It was chilly in that airport that day, but a quick glance out the window made the delays more than explainable.

STORMS.

They impair our visibility.

They threaten our safety.

They cripple us with fear.

They cause us to retreat.

They cause us to overreact.

They cause us to trust in others to know we are going to make it through. Maybe it’s the airline crew who has been trained to handle situations like this. Maybe it’s your local meteorologist (in my home State, he’s quite the legend!). Maybe it’s your faith in The One who holds it all – the storm AND you. Sometimes we need a reminder that (1) we WILL make it through, (2) we are NOT alone, and (3) it WILL NOT always look this way.

Just a few hours later (well, about six), the impaired visibility from the incessant snow disappeared and this was the view out of my window. Isn’t it beautiful? Peaceful. Bright. Calm. ABOVE. From this view…..quite a bit higher than the first photo, the perspective is completely different. That’s what happens when we allow ourselves to rise ABOVE the storms.

That process is not easy. It’s not quick. It often involves other people. It often involves surrender. It often involves pressing through the turbulence. Trust me, friend. There is Light above the storms. You will be able to have a different view. You are not alone.

ABOVE.

In one of its listings, Merriam-Webster defines winter as a noun and as “the season between autumn and spring comprising in the northern hemisphere usually the months of December, January, and February.”

The area of the US where I reside tends to fare on the warmer side of weather. It’s not uncommon for us to be wearing shorts on Christmas Day as we toss around a football or play a round of corn hole in the front yard. This year, however, we are all in the process of “winterizing” our homes. Whoever created the little foam covers for outside faucets is probably enjoying a vacation in the tropics while we cover our pipes to prevent a plumbing catastrophe. It’s going to be single-digit cold. That is C O L D. Winter.

Although we are in the process of winterizing, my mind gravitates towards many things:

Hot chocolate.

Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Firewood.

Fleece blankets.

Chili (whoever named it this had a sense of humor!).

Seat warmers.

Coats, scarves, and toboggans.

You see, when things get really cold, we are drawn to warmth. We don’t build a fire in the fireplace in the middle of the summer when the A/c is on overdrive. We don’t heat up a big bowl of soup and follow it up with a popsicle. We do, however, hold our hands over a fire pit when our fingers are getting numb from the chill of the outdoors. We do put on an extra heavy coat when the temperatures are dropping and the wind is whipping. Cold makes us long for warmth. Winter.

While we take care of our homes to “winterize” them and avoid costly damage and while we insulate ourselves to stay warm or not be negatively impacted by prolonged exposure to the elements…..have we tended to the inside?

Do you remember the movie Frozen? (If not, just let it go.) Disney did a great job of showing the impact of fear….of isolation…..and the impact on everyone around. We sing the songs, we buy the princesses (#TeamElsa or #TeamAnna), and we visit the shows at Disney World. However, there’s a theme we don’t need to miss – in all of that cold – “winter,” if you will – they longed for warmth.

Our hearts do, too. It’s easy for our hearts to look like winter. Cold. Hardened. Unproductive. Unreceptive. What has happened to us? Have we let what was intended to be a “season” (reference Merriam-Webster above) turn in to a permanent status? Are we drawn to warmth…..or repelled by it? Did we cover the faucets, address the drafts under the doors, gather the firewood and service the furnace……all the while allowing our hearts to freeze by unrelenting exposure to “the elements?”

In extreme cold, we are drawn to warmth. Let’s share a mug of hot chocolate. You can curl up by the fire and get cozy under the Sherpa blanket. Most importantly – don’t forget your bowl of chili!

It’s that time of year! Christmas carols are playing everywhere – in our cars, in our offices, in the stores we visit, in our churches, and in our homes.

I was singing through the lyrics of “Away in a Manger” this morning and something landed differently. As I sung “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head, the stars in the sky look down where He lay, the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay,” I wasn’t just singing it. I saw it. I heard the sounds. I smelled the smells. It felt REAL.

On a typical day, you can walk into my office and smell my “Tiki Beach” wallflower from Bath and Body Works; at home, it’s usually “Cactus Blossom” or “Black Raspberry Vanilla” (when it’s not discontinued). I like the smell of the beach. I like the smell of fruity and clean things. Those scents are very different from what I “smelled” as I became part of the manger scene.

Musty Hay. (Surely that would be a best seller!)

Donkey Dung. (No poopourri available, y’all!)

Sheep Spray. (No glitter in this one!)

We think of the “appropriate,” “planned,” and “clean” places where a baby should be born. That manger met none of the above. It was dirty. It was damp. It stunk. WHY? The King of Kings was coming to this Earth…..WHY?

I can’t help but reflect on the truth that He was born into cold….damp…..smelly….dirty accommodations because it was foreshadowing of our hearts. He wasn’t afraid of or too good to come to our hearts because they were cold…..damp…..smelly…..and dirty.

Jesus was just fine with that manger and all of the things surrounding it. Thank God He was – because His willingness to be born in THAT place in THOSE circumstances paved the way for Him to be born in our hearts, too.