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Reflections on 2020

A few weeks ago, I read a quote and chuckled. “On January 1, 2021, the statement ‘Hindsight is 2020’ will never be more true.”

What a year, you know? As a professional in the field of education, little did I know THEN that the end of the work day on March 13, 2020 would not be the traditional launching into spring break. Instead, an announcement that afternoon let used words like social distance, masks, COVID, shut downs, and essential workers. It’s not that I’ve never heard those words before (with the exception of COVID), but I had never heard them all used in a press conference that would dramatically change life as we knew it.

From March of 2020 until December 2020, these are some things that made themselves at home in our world, our nation, our state, and our city:
*A life-altering, massively contagious virus that has taken many and sickened many more
*Economic crisis
*Shortages of goods/supplies
*Political animosity
*Racial tension
*Social isolation
*Blame casting
*Relational breakdowns

Just tonight, I have been watching Passion 2021 with my children. We usually jam out to KB on iTunes, but tonight we got to do that in our living room. A little later in the evening, KB brought an extremely powerful message from the book of Psalms. In his message, he made this statement: “So many people continually say that ‘they can’t wait to get out of 2020;’ Maybe we need to ask what 2020 is trying to get out of us!” BOOM!

The list above gives an overview of the impact of living through this pandemic and it is pretty disheartening. Tonight, as we head towards 2021, I want to reflect on what 2020 has done through a different lens. Yes, the year has been hard. However, the past nine-and-a-half months have taught me several really important lessons:

  1. Crisis is a great (and necessary) editor. There are things that will never get our time or attention until a crisis demands them.
  2. Relationships matter. Whether we are introverts or extroverts, WE NEED EACH OTHER. My pastor has said on many occasions that we need to “maintain physical distance but stay socially connected.” We were not created to do life alone. Don’t try.
  3. We all have a story that has been shaped by our past. Take time to truly get to know the people in your life – be in relationship, not just in proximity. You just might understand them – and yourself – better.
  4. In uncertain times, it is so necessary to hold on to Hope. His name is Jesus!

Romans 5:3-5 says “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

2020 has been a harsh but honest teacher. It’s caused me to look at me, to look inside of me, and then to look at everything and everyone differently. Bring on 2021!!! I’ve got my world to change.

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Under Pressure

Although I created this site a few weeks ago, I’ve not had focused time to sit down and write. It’s crazy how quickly things can change.

Because interest rates are tremendously low, we are refinancing our house. I’m taking care of a few things that needed to be done anyway, but having an appraisal looming has been the fire I needed to get them done. One of those items was to pressure wash various areas of the driveway/sidewalk/fence. If you ever THINK you are gross and just want to confirm it….pressure wash something.

As you can see from the photo above, there is a clear separation from the ground that had been pressure washed and the ground that had not. However, underneath the years of caked up dirt rested the same sidewalk, gutter and driveway that was brand new just a few years ago. The purpose of it didn’t change. However, “life happened to it” and, as it was exposed to the elements of nature, it got covered up.

I don’t think it was coincidental that I was pressure washing my house TODAY. Why is that? Because our world is in a crisis right now. Life as we know it has ceased because everything has changed. No longer are we getting up in the morning to get ready for work; instead, we are getting up in the morning and questioning when we will be able to work again. We are (supposed to be) confined to our houses, to our own environments, to bring an end to the spread of a virus our world is ill-equipped to fight.

This past Sunday, my pastor challenged us to read and pray Psalm 91- out loud – each day. Why? Because in the midst of all of this uncertainty, we need assurance that SOMETHING…..and someONE…..is certain.

As I held that pressure washer, I watched as water that had a whole lot of pressure behind it uncovered what had been “hidden” for years. Right now, I see what we are experiencing as a pressure washing of sorts. As I continued on down the sidewalk, Cody Carnes’ song, “Nothing Else,” played through my earphones. I was broken as I cleaned…..because I felt like I saw a visual of “things” being stripped away so that the words to that song became more than pretty……but that they became true.

Yes, this virus is scary.
Yes, we are at a loss for knocking this out.
Yes, the consequences…..physically and financially……have been and will continue to be tremendous.
What I saw on that sidewalk today was a picture of me. Of the typical American Christian. Of the person who can easily sing the words “I just want You – nothing else, nothing else, nothing else will do…” while I go on about my day, doing my thing, relying on my abilities and work ethic to make sure my needs are met.

The dirt got stripped off of the sidewalk today. A layer got stripped off of my eyes today as well. I truly don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know what my job will look like based on when students can return to school. I don’t know what money will be left in a retirement account that’s been invested in for a very long time. What I DO know is that I have been placed in a position to learn how to TRUST HIM to be who He says He is. That’s scary….because I’ve been pretty comfortable trusting in me. Lord, let me be truthful when I say, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” (Psalm 20:7)

Pressure washing uncovers so much…..and not on just the sidewalk.

OPERATION.

Does anyone else remember playing this game growing up? For the moment, you became “the surgeon” and you used some metal tweezers to remove ailing parts of the body. But watch out!!! If you touched the metal with your tweezers, the patient’s nose lit up and a buzzing sound let you know you missed the mark.

I served on prayer team today during the second service and Holy Spirit dropped the picture of this “game” before me as we sang the song “My Hallelujah.” (Link: https://youtu.be/e3HSAyGRzgA?si=guBxnxfKrxARm0P9)

The lyrics of the bridge of the song declare this:
You can have all my moments
All my days
I give You all my worship, Jesus!

The word ALL landed with me and I just prayed for surrender in the room.

So, why the game?

It’s hard to truly give Him ALL when we have broken things or misplaced things inside of us. We may hide away as if all is well or go into work mode to try to redeem ourselves. So I just pray for anything in me…..in you….in us….that needs removal so we can truly be anchored in Him.

Our toes 🦶 – our metatarsals – they give us our balance. Yet, if we are standing on unsteady ground, that is harder to have. What is your foundation? What gives you stability?

Our femur 🦴 – the strongest bone in our body – our core and what holds us upright. Does our strength truly come from Him? Is it misplaced in our performance, our titles, our possessions, our name, our reputation, our gifts and talents?

Our liver and our eyes 👀 – the filters of our body. One filters away toxins; one may allow toxins in. How are your filters? Are you allowing the Lord to heal what is ailing in your body? Are you protecting what you allow in through your eyes?

Our heart ❤️ – the core of who we are. Many of our hearts are bruised and we’ve never fully healed. (And we may have bruised the hearts of others – intentionally or unintentionally.) Is your heart pure? Clean? Anything lurking there that’s causing some blockages to what the Lord wants to do in your life? Unforgiveness? Bitterness? Greed? Idolatry? Lust? Gossip? Envy? _?

The mouth 👄 – it speaks life or it speaks curses. Do our words reflect what we say we are rooted in? Do the words we say when we look in the mirror reflect what He would say to and/or about us?

Finally, the mind 🧠- Scripture tells us that we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Is there any stinking thinking holding you back?

I want to fully mean it when I sing the words “You can have ALL.” And I believe He is ready to do surgery – to heal us – if we will allow HIM to have the tweezers and stop trying to fix it on our own.

The Doctor is in – if you’re in need of His services (hint hint : we all are!), He is ready. He wants to heal ALL of you. Of me. Of us.

“When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.””
‭‭Mark‬ ‭2‬:‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Time to Cry.

First of all, my apologies if this photo IS your child or resembles your child. It was borrowed from the photo album of the internet.

Sitting on the beach this morning, I’m reading a book and watching people. As couples and families set up camp around us, there’s always an interesting dynamic. Some are minimalists with one bag and one towel; others have brought the guest house in their 15 wagons with monster truck sized wheels.

As dad was unpacking, mom held the toddler (appearing to be between one and two). All was well until dad stopped unpacking and sprayed the toddler with sunscreen. All of the sudden…..the calm of mama’s arms turned into loud cries.

No matter what is going on, a baby or toddler will resort to ONE common behavior: crying.
❓Hungry? CRY.
❓Tired? CRY.
❓Afraid? CRY.
❓Startled? CRY.
❓Wet? CRY.
❓Lonely? CRY.
❓Sick? CRY.
❓Cold? CRY.
❓Hurting? CRY.
❓Overwhelmed? CRY.

Don’t you envy such a simple response? They just get to cry about any and every thing and draw the attention of someone.

There comes a point, though, where that response shifts. Somewhere along the way, we are supposed to become more in tune with our emotions and use words to express how we are feeling.

Sometimes we are good at it.

Sometimes we stink at it.

How do YOU respond when you’re hungry? Tired? Afraid? Startled? Wet? Lonely? Sick? Cold? Hurting? Overwhelmed?

Dealing with what is inside of us is a necessary process – because that is exactly what will come out when life bumps us. When we don’t sleep well. When we’ve gone too long between meals. When we don’t feel well – physically, emotionally, Spiritually or relationally. When we are afraid or feel out of control.

The good news for us is that there is a menu of options that can help us process those things out. Galatians 5:22-23 gives us the list:
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”

Reflecting today as I watched a little one expose an area of personal weakness. Lord, help us to be intentional about having YOUR fruit planted in our lives. Help us to come to You in all of the situations and with all of the emotions and learn how to respond from You. Thank You for being a gracious Father who is patient with us as we grow up.

A Little Birdie Told Me….

When I got home from work yesterday, I took advantage of the beautiful weather and worked in the yard for about five hours trimming shrubs, clearing out old mulch, edging, mowing the grass, and putting down new mulch.

I took a little break because Kyle and Macy brought me a Ttown Snow 😋 and as we visited, a little bird hopped nearby. I could hear him talking and I asked Kyle to use his birding app to listen and see what kind of bird it was. He did – and the result was a Chipping Sparrow (photo included).

I just paused and had to hold back tears. And I felt Holy Spirit say – “I see him….and I see you, too.”

Life has been hard lately. As a person who tries my best to be optimistic and remain hopeful, it seems like every day has brought a new sort of gut punch. Sometimes they are things in my life; sometimes they are things happening in the lives of those I know and love. And….it just gets heavy. Really, really heavy.

Before I stopped to eat my sno cone, I was literally entertaining the thought of “I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s all so heavy. ” Have you been there? Do you know someone else who is there?

In those moments, it’s easy to feel as if nobody sees. It’s easy to feel as if nobody cares.

So the Lord sent me a little Chipping Sparrow this evening to silence the junk I was rehearsing in my head.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭10‬:‭29‬-‭31‬ ‭ESV‬‬

REALLY? It could have been any kind of bird…..but He sent a Sparrow.

Thank You, Lord.

I know He sent that little Chipping Sparrow for me…..but he wasn’t sent JUST for me. So I’m writing this to remind someone else of this, too.

❤️🐦‍⬛🎶

BACK ON THE TREADMILL

Sunday, February 2, 2025

The alarm went off early so I could get up to walk or run – whatever I could handle. My weather app said it was 37 degrees outside, so I decided to head to the gym instead of bundling up to be outside for an hour.

I went to the back of the gym where the cardio equipment was and picked out just the right treadmill. (I could have had any of them – there were only four people in the gym at 5:30 a.m. on Sunday.) I hit start, set my incline, and started my five-minute warmup. Then a 10-minute jog. Then a five-minute cool down before hitting some weights.

I got off the treadmill a bit frustrated with myself. It wasn’t that long ago (I think) that I could run for the entirety of my 30-minute cardio session (yes, I only did 20 today). Here I found myself only being able to hang for 10. The older you get, the easier it is to lose stamina. Purpose. The “want to.” How did I get here?

I can be creative in making all kinds of excuses as to why I have not prioritized my physical health, but they don’t help me. The reality is…..I got here one day at a time. I got here when I quit getting “on the treadmill.”

My frustration today came from not being able to do things for as long or at the same pace that I could do them before. Yes, I get older every single day, but that’s a truth for all of us regardless of age. We can’t neglect things on the daily and realistically expect to hop back in as we were when we did them on the daily.

How about you?
What “treadmills” have you gotten off of?

-Praying?
-Writing?
-Giving?
-Serving?
-Exercising?
-Singing?
-Earing well?
-Reading?
-Leading?
-Spending time with family and friends?
-Studying God’s Word?
-Coaching?
-Being a part of the local Church?
–___________?

The whole time I’ve been away from the gym, the treadmills were there the whole time. I can sit here and rationalize not doing something I really do love to do because I’ve allowed myself to get out of shape and I’ll have to work harder to get it back. But you know what? All I had to do was step back on the treadmill.

You, too, my friend.
Which treadmills are waiting for you?

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14

SWAT Team

This morning, I had breakfast with a few friends. Before we even had coffee on the table, a little gnat made its way into our table space and buzzed around our heads. We politely shooed it away until it got on all of our nerves. I looked at my friends and said, “IT WILL DIE!” Shortly after a moment of laughter, it flew in front of me and I went into Mr. Miyagi mode. (Please watch The Karate Kid if you’re unfamiliar with this legend!) With a loud clap of my hands….IT DIED! I wiped off my hands and continued the conversation. Within two minutes, another one came around. This time, with a loud smash on the table, IT DIED, too.

Those little gnats spoke to me today. Isn’t it just like us to just “shoo away” the annoying things in our lives while they just continue to circle around our heads and distract us? And have you ever noticed how, left unaddressed, those gnats seem to multiply themselves? Chew on that for a few minutes.

As we’ve just started a New Year, maybe it’s time to address some of those “gnats” in our lives. Maybe it’s time to call in the SWAT (Something Worth Addressing Today) Team and take care of those things once and for all. Maybe these “gnats” invade your head and heart space on a daily basis:

✳️ Being offended
✳️ Pride
✳️ Manipulating people
✳️ Jealousy
✳️ Speaking words of death over others
✳️ Blaming
✳️ Insecurity
✳️ Bitterness
✳️ Overspending
✳️ Making excuses
✳️ Overeating
✳️ Endlessly scrolling

When you read over that list, none of them sound like things we would WANT to have consistently swirling around us. However, if we simply tolerate their presence in our lives and “shoo” them away on occasion, they will make themselves at home and just become a part of who we are.

Today, may the “gnats” of our lives drive us to call in the SWAT Team and send them packing. May they be more fearful of your hand clap or table slap than you are of the work it takes to exterminate them!

“GET RID OF all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭31‬-‭32‬ ‭NLT‬‬