Vulnerable post. Hang with me.

This morning, I kept having the word “refine” come across my mind. I heard it in a song. I saw a picture in my mind.

I know a lot of people who have felt like they’re in a refining process because of things they are walking through relationally, physically, emotionally, professionally, financially and Spiritually. I can identify in many ways.

So, I did a little research.

Refining happens in stages. I’ll specifically speak to the refining process of gold.

In the first stage of refining, the big debris is removed first.

In the second stage, cloudiness is then filtered out.

In the third stage, dissolved substances are separated chemically.

In the fourth and final stage, the microscopic contaminants are removed, a process called “ultra-purification.”

One statement about this process literally leapt off the page at me: “Refining precious metals (like gold, silver, and platinum) is essentially about progressively removing impurities based on how reactive or stable they are.” Just pause and soak that statement in for a moment.

Now, let’s turn this process to ourselves….to our hearts.

The first stage, removing “big debris,” is what’s easiest to identify (because it’s so evident) and attempt to remove.
What is that for you?
One of mine would be people pleasing (also known as Fear of Man).

The second stage, filtering out the cloudiness, becomes a little bit harder. The heat has to get a little bit hotter….because this one may not be as easy as the big debris to spot.
What is that for you?
One of mine would be responding to situations and people because of past – and unhealed – hurts/offenses.

The third stage, things that have been dissolved have to be separated chemically. Think about sugar dissolving in coffee or tea. When it dissolves, it becomes a part of whatever substance it’s in. Hard to see. Hard to break up.
What is that for you?
One of mine would be unhealthy – and often untrue – patterns of thought, especially about myself. You can’t see them – but they’ve made their way into being a part of me.

The last level is called ultra-purification and is the hardest level to accomplish. The description of this level absolutely blew my mind. This level is the hardest because “The less reactive a metal is, the harder it is to remove.”
These are the things that are deep, deep, deep.
I’ll leave that there.

Now, in the hands of Jesus, refining can take on a whole different approach. Back to that last level of ultra-purification. These are the hardest things to remove because they “look the most like what the target is.”

Lord, would You give us the courage to let You refine us? To remove the big debris. Then the cloudiness. Then the dissolved things. Then any other thing…..so that, through the process, our ultra-purification actually reveals that we look the most like You?

Selah.

“These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ NLT‬‬

We have a few family traditions at Christmas, but one of my favorites is our Christmas morning meal at Waffle House.

This year, it looked a little different as our daughter was on duty as a Resident Assistant in her dorm. Rather than going around the corner to eat at our nearby Waffle House, we had a 65 mile drive to pick her up and go to a location close to her.

We were up and ready and as soon as I backed out of the garage, I commented on how thick the fog was. Ten miles in….still thick. Twenty-five miles in….still thick. All the way to her dorm…..extra thick.

Not being able to see ahead is scary. What was on the other side of what I couldnt see?

It’s stressful.
My hands were tightly clenched on the steering wheel as if my efforts would make the fog lift.

It’s inconvenient.
It took us about 20 minutes longer to get to her dorm because we had to slow our speed to be safe.

I asked Kyle to take a picture for me because I knew this post would eventually be written. This picture was taken on December 25, 2025…..but I feel pretty certain that someone reading this today feels like it’s an accurate depiction of your life.

➡️ It’s foggy.
➡️ You can’t see what’s ahead.
➡️ The unknown is scary.
➡️ Your tendency to control doesn’t work.
➡️ You’re frustrated that your pace has been slowed.

Anytime we get in the car to travel any distance together, we always pray for safe travels. This time, about 20 minutes in, I had to lift up our trip again. My prayer was literally, “Lord – I can’t see, but You can. Drive this car and get us to Macy.”

I’m writing this post tonight because we got to Macy – but also because I needed to remind myself and some of you that our limited visibility never impairs His. Our tendency to control doesn’t stop Him from being near and available. Our frustrations that things aren’t going as we planned don’t knock Him off of His throne.

If you’re walking through a foggy circumstance or a foggy season – ask Him to strengthen your faith for what’s on the other side. Invite him In to the situation and loosen your grip. Trust His pace. He Is faithful!

“For we live by believing and not by seeing.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Does anyone else remember playing this game growing up? For the moment, you became “the surgeon” and you used some metal tweezers to remove ailing parts of the body. But watch out!!! If you touched the metal with your tweezers, the patient’s nose lit up and a buzzing sound let you know you missed the mark.

I served on prayer team today during the second service and Holy Spirit dropped the picture of this “game” before me as we sang the song “My Hallelujah.” (Link: https://youtu.be/e3HSAyGRzgA?si=guBxnxfKrxARm0P9)

The lyrics of the bridge of the song declare this:
You can have all my moments
All my days
I give You all my worship, Jesus!

The word ALL landed with me and I just prayed for surrender in the room.

So, why the game?

It’s hard to truly give Him ALL when we have broken things or misplaced things inside of us. We may hide away as if all is well or go into work mode to try to redeem ourselves. So I just pray for anything in me…..in you….in us….that needs removal so we can truly be anchored in Him.

Our toes 🦶 – our metatarsals – they give us our balance. Yet, if we are standing on unsteady ground, that is harder to have. What is your foundation? What gives you stability?

Our femur 🦴 – the strongest bone in our body – our core and what holds us upright. Does our strength truly come from Him? Is it misplaced in our performance, our titles, our possessions, our name, our reputation, our gifts and talents?

Our liver and our eyes 👀 – the filters of our body. One filters away toxins; one may allow toxins in. How are your filters? Are you allowing the Lord to heal what is ailing in your body? Are you protecting what you allow in through your eyes?

Our heart ❤️ – the core of who we are. Many of our hearts are bruised and we’ve never fully healed. (And we may have bruised the hearts of others – intentionally or unintentionally.) Is your heart pure? Clean? Anything lurking there that’s causing some blockages to what the Lord wants to do in your life? Unforgiveness? Bitterness? Greed? Idolatry? Lust? Gossip? Envy? _?

The mouth 👄 – it speaks life or it speaks curses. Do our words reflect what we say we are rooted in? Do the words we say when we look in the mirror reflect what He would say to and/or about us?

Finally, the mind 🧠- Scripture tells us that we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Is there any stinking thinking holding you back?

I want to fully mean it when I sing the words “You can have ALL.” And I believe He is ready to do surgery – to heal us – if we will allow HIM to have the tweezers and stop trying to fix it on our own.

The Doctor is in – if you’re in need of His services (hint hint : we all are!), He is ready. He wants to heal ALL of you. Of me. Of us.

“When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.””
‭‭Mark‬ ‭2‬:‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

First of all, my apologies if this photo IS your child or resembles your child. It was borrowed from the photo album of the internet.

Sitting on the beach this morning, I’m reading a book and watching people. As couples and families set up camp around us, there’s always an interesting dynamic. Some are minimalists with one bag and one towel; others have brought the guest house in their 15 wagons with monster truck sized wheels.

As dad was unpacking, mom held the toddler (appearing to be between one and two). All was well until dad stopped unpacking and sprayed the toddler with sunscreen. All of the sudden…..the calm of mama’s arms turned into loud cries.

No matter what is going on, a baby or toddler will resort to ONE common behavior: crying.
❓Hungry? CRY.
❓Tired? CRY.
❓Afraid? CRY.
❓Startled? CRY.
❓Wet? CRY.
❓Lonely? CRY.
❓Sick? CRY.
❓Cold? CRY.
❓Hurting? CRY.
❓Overwhelmed? CRY.

Don’t you envy such a simple response? They just get to cry about any and every thing and draw the attention of someone.

There comes a point, though, where that response shifts. Somewhere along the way, we are supposed to become more in tune with our emotions and use words to express how we are feeling.

Sometimes we are good at it.

Sometimes we stink at it.

How do YOU respond when you’re hungry? Tired? Afraid? Startled? Wet? Lonely? Sick? Cold? Hurting? Overwhelmed?

Dealing with what is inside of us is a necessary process – because that is exactly what will come out when life bumps us. When we don’t sleep well. When we’ve gone too long between meals. When we don’t feel well – physically, emotionally, Spiritually or relationally. When we are afraid or feel out of control.

The good news for us is that there is a menu of options that can help us process those things out. Galatians 5:22-23 gives us the list:
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”

Reflecting today as I watched a little one expose an area of personal weakness. Lord, help us to be intentional about having YOUR fruit planted in our lives. Help us to come to You in all of the situations and with all of the emotions and learn how to respond from You. Thank You for being a gracious Father who is patient with us as we grow up.

When I got home from work yesterday, I took advantage of the beautiful weather and worked in the yard for about five hours trimming shrubs, clearing out old mulch, edging, mowing the grass, and putting down new mulch.

I took a little break because Kyle and Macy brought me a Ttown Snow 😋 and as we visited, a little bird hopped nearby. I could hear him talking and I asked Kyle to use his birding app to listen and see what kind of bird it was. He did – and the result was a Chipping Sparrow (photo included).

I just paused and had to hold back tears. And I felt Holy Spirit say – “I see him….and I see you, too.”

Life has been hard lately. As a person who tries my best to be optimistic and remain hopeful, it seems like every day has brought a new sort of gut punch. Sometimes they are things in my life; sometimes they are things happening in the lives of those I know and love. And….it just gets heavy. Really, really heavy.

Before I stopped to eat my sno cone, I was literally entertaining the thought of “I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s all so heavy. ” Have you been there? Do you know someone else who is there?

In those moments, it’s easy to feel as if nobody sees. It’s easy to feel as if nobody cares.

So the Lord sent me a little Chipping Sparrow this evening to silence the junk I was rehearsing in my head.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭10‬:‭29‬-‭31‬ ‭ESV‬‬

REALLY? It could have been any kind of bird…..but He sent a Sparrow.

Thank You, Lord.

I know He sent that little Chipping Sparrow for me…..but he wasn’t sent JUST for me. So I’m writing this to remind someone else of this, too.

❤️🐦‍⬛🎶