Make Room.

Our church hosts a series each year called “At the Movies.” On the first Sunday of this year’s series, we learned from a movie by the name of “CODA,” also known as “Child of Deaf Adults.”

As I sat taking in the message of the movie, one scene particularly spoke to me. Ruby, the one hearing child in the family, was sitting on her bed having a conversation with her mom. Through the beautiful gift of sign language, Ruby was brave enough to ask her mom if she ever wished Ruby was deaf. Wow. She really asked that. The entire auditorium seemed to hold its breath waiting for the mom’s response.

The mom paused for a moment and nodded her head “yes.” She then went on to tell Ruby that when they performed the hearing test on her in the hospital and reported to them that Ruby could hear, she was disappointed. (And it seemed as if the breathing in the room stopped again.) The mom explained that she didn’t really want Ruby to be deaf – but that she had no idea how to parent a hearing child. That daunting task – the inferiority complex it birthed in her mom – led to her desire for her daughter to not have an ability unfamiliar to her parenting experience.

Immediately, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to take a trip to the cemetery after the service ended. I’d recently stopped by to check on the placement of my dad’s marker and saw that it was in place. I knew I had some business to take care of. You see, I carried some things around – like an infected fish hook in my back – because of things my parents DID do or say as well as things they DIDN’T do or say. That movie portrayed a perspective I had not considered – because my “differences” made me feel rejected or not good enough. That day, I knew I had believed a lie for a long time. I knew there were some things in me that they didn’t know how to parent….and that brought about some insecurity, especially in my mom. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I headed over to the cemetery and visited my parents’ graves. Just about two weeks before Thanksgiving, I was processing that this year would look different. Lots of tears and emotions. But as I stood there and told them I forgave them for things they may not have even known I needed from them – I was also reminded of things they DID teach me and invest in me, times they WERE present, supportive and proud. I told them I loved them and missed them, and that I’d see them again soon – but not there. 😊 My face was streaked with tears and my nose was running – but the most evident physical change to me was the weight that came off of my shoulders. Forgiving someone for not being what they didn’t know how to be is powerful.

Later in the week, I was listening to Make Room as I drove around town. That was it! THAT is why I needed to make a trip to the cemetery. THAT is why I needed to forgive. THAT is why I needed to be reminded of good things. My heart needed to make room. Sometimes, we have so much junk in our hearts that we basically display a “NO VACANCY” sign. Maybe that keeps out some bad things – but it also keeps out a lot of really, really good things, too.

Luke 2 tells the story of Jesus’ birth. Luke 2:7 captures my attention because it says they had to find another place to go since there was “no room in the inn.” Again, hindsight is 20/20, but did they know what they missed by saying “We don’t have room for you!” that night?!? The Savior of the World could have been born in that Inn. However, there was no room. (On a silly side, think of how different this season would be – we’d be singing “Away in a Hampton” instead of “Away in a Manger.” 🤣)

Don’t miss this.

Sit here for a minute.

What is ready to be “birthed” in you – but there’s no room? Maybe it’s that dream you’ve carried for years but your heart is full of doubt and insecurity. Make room. Maybe it’s that relationship that could be healed, but you’re too full of pride to say I’m sorry or ask for (or extend) forgiveness. Make room. Maybe it’s that “habit” you know you’re being called away from, but you just don’t know how you’d make it without it. Make room. Maybe it’s trusting God to be God over all of your life and you surrender control. Make room.

The Lord took me from watching a movie to a cemetery so that He could set me free from some things I’d held onto waaaaaaaaaay too long. It wasn’t just to settle those things. It was to make space for healing to come in other areas of my life. Absolutely beautiful.

Oh, the things that could change when the sign over our hearts changes from “NO VACANCY” to “VACANCY.” He doesn’t look for a heart that’s in 5-star condition. He just looks for a heart that will have Him.